reflection cover letter

Reflection

        In my portfolio I picked the following pieces. “Analyzing a trend”, “This I believe”, “Application” essay, and “Profile” essays. I have picked these pieces of writing because I feel like these pieces are some of my best writing. In all of the pieces there is a significant change from the first draft into the second draft, which I wrote. I feel like the second drafts are good. With all the positive criticism that I got with all these pieces of writing, I made lots of changes to the second drafts and I feel like that the final drafts are the best that I have written.

        “Analyzing a trend” is a piece of writing that I had to include in the portfolio. If it wasn’t a requirement I think I would have still added it to the portfolio. It was an assignment that I found to be challenging, and it was something that I hadn’t done before. I think that my second draft is a good start to what can become something great. Although something’s might be unclear and the essay might be a little everywhere, I feel like I had made lots of changes to the essay to make it the best I could. I used to critique given to me and added as much of it as I could into the essay. I think that my trend was clear.

        In the assignment that we had to write the “profile essay” I feel like that I also did a good job with it. In the beginning I was a little unsure of who to write about, but I think that my second draft was a much better example of the writing. I am including this piece of writing in my portfolio because it was something that I enjoyed writing about and it was someone that is sentimental to me. I picked “someone you look up to” as the topic and my father to me is someone I look up to everyday of my life. Although it really wasn’t that interested to others I feel very strong about this and I bet people have parents that they look up to too.

        “Application essay” is another piece that I have included in my profile. The reason I picked it was because I feel that this is a very important paper.Me getting into a nursing program is very important for me. It is something I always wanted to do even when I was a little kid. So doing this paper was something I really liked doing because I way use this to applied to a nursing program. I understand that in my second draft I had a lot of miss spelling and other little minor errors. But I fixed all of that and I feel very confident about this piece.

        The last piece that I will include in my essay is “This I Believe” essay. This piece of writing is one that I really thought I had done a good job with. I think that family is the most important thing in life, and that is truly what I believe in. Even though my experience with the car and the flat tire. My brother didn’t hold our fight against me , family being the most important thing in life, I still feel like that the fact that my brother was there by my side, he was supportive even though it was my fault meant a lot to me. I used the comments that I received back from that essay and I made it better. Over all I feel like this was a good essay because it was something that I was interested in writing and I had a belief that I feel strongly for.

        The essays that I chose to put in the portfolio I believe are my best writings of the semesters. Also some of these were new to me; I never have writing some of these so it was interesting writing some of these essays. I feel like I did my best with the comments that I received on them to make the essays more appropriate to the assignment, and my final products are the best.

Analyzing a Trend 2nd draft

Alcohol

                The use of alcohol has changed dramatically over the years. Younger kids drink, just to be cool. Alcohol can cause tons of problems when it is over abused. Don’t get me wrong alcohol is ok to drink once in a while when you get together with friends and family but it’s not ok when you’re under age and drinking, and driving around like kids do today. What these young kids don’t know is that alcohol is a very serious matter because it can become addicting after drinking it for a while. Alcohol also destroys your liver, which you can die from it.

        I found this article that talk about alcohol and how younger kids are drinking, especially in the European countries. “Alcoholism is the cause of 7.5% of illness and premature death in the EU. For 15-29 year-olds, however, this proportion climbs to 10% for females and 25% for males. It is the leading cause of death for this age group. More than nine teenagers out of ten have drunk alcohol, beginning at the average age of 12 and a half, notes the document. "In addition to these direct risks, young people are often victims of the secondary effects of alcohol abuse," adds the European Youth Forum, including violence, driving while intoxicated and domestic violence.”

        The rates of deaths from alcohol are increasing every day. “Two out of 3 murders, 1 of 3 rapes, 1 out of 3 suicides, 2 out of 5 assaults, and 3 out of 5 cases of child abuse are connected to the use of alcohol. One out of 2 deaths by fire and drowning are alcohol related, as are 2 out of 5 home accidents. 25,000 American's die in alcohol related crashes every year, or 1 out of 2 fatalities. One out of 2 in-patients in our city hospitals are there because of an alcohol related problem and 40,000 young adults are disfigured by alcohol related car accidents each year.”

        You really don’t know what alcohol can do to you when you drink it because it depends on your body weight, height and couple of other things. But alcohol impairs your judgment. It affects your speech slurred, balance and coordination impaired, reflexes slowed, visual attention impaired, unstable emotions, nausea, vomiting.

        I think that a good solution to this problem would be to step up something up that cops and pull people over and check there alcohol level if they see any signs and even if they don’t see any signs that the person driving is drunk. For example is Portugal on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. The cops are down the road from the club and they pull cars over and check to see if they have their licenses and that’s their cars are registered and also they do a breathalyzer test on them. I think that if we do that they would be scared to drink and drive that way we can reduce the number of death from people drinking and driving.

http://www.faadrug.com/alcohol.asp

Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2006 Europolitics

Source Citation

"HEALTH : ACTION PLAN WILL ATTACK ALCOHOLISM AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE." European Social Policy (2006): 64835. Global Issues In Context. Web. 1 May 2012

Post write

I feel very strong about this essay. I really feel that alcohol is a very important thing and that minors shouldn’t be drinking if not 21. I feel like there should be more laws or more ways to prevent it.

Analyzing a Trend 1 draft

Alcohol

                In this article it talks about alcohol and how younger kids are drinking, especially in the European countries. Alcohol is a very serious matter because it because addicting after drinking it for a while. Alcohol also destroys your liver, which you can die from it. “Alcoholism is the cause of 7.5% of illness and premature death in the EU. For 15-29 year-olds, however, this proportion climbs to 10% for females and 25% for males. It is the leading cause of death for this age group. More than nine teenagers out of ten have drunk alcohol, beginning at the average age of 12 and a half, notes the document. "In addition to these direct risks, young people are often victims of the secondary effects of alcohol abuse," adds the European Youth Forum, including violence, driving while intoxicated and domestic violence.”

            What the author is trying to do is to increase the number of kids drinking. Also the number of deaths cause from drinking. “Another key proposal was the document's suggestion for the creation of a zero-rate blood alcohol level in the EU for young and inexperienced drivers. This measure would also concern public transport and drivers of commercial vehicles, particularly those transporting hazardous substances. The Commission hoped with this measure to help slash the number of road deaths in Europe from 50,000 in 2000 to 25,000 by 2010. The communication also urged member states to set up a regulatory framework for blood alcohol testing and sanctions in the EU.”

Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2006 Europolitics

Source Citation

"HEALTH : ACTION PLAN WILL ATTACK ALCOHOLISM AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE." European Social Policy (2006): 64835. Global Issues In Context. Web. 1 May 2012

Post write

I know I need to write more but I just wanted to see how I would lie the topic. Also not really sure, if it’s the topic I want to do.