application essay 2nd draft and post write

Question: Write about anything.

school: umass lowell

Nurse

            Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a nurse. It has always been a dream of mine.  Even though being a nurse is a lot of reasonability, I think I would make a great nurse. I love and enjoy working with people and helping all those in need and I know that I can resume all responsibilities of being a nurse because I am a fun , loving , patient , understanding , caring , person , and most important a good listener.

            There are a lot of ways of being caring. I think being caring is important. For Example: When you show someone that you care it makes people look at you different and the person may open up to you more and feel more comfortable with you. I had a resident at work once who was having a difficult time breathing, I knew she was having a panic attic, so I sat on the side of her bed and talked to her and explained to her that everything was going to be okay and that she had to relax, I also explained that it was easier said than done but that I was there and that she was she would be fine and after 20 min. she was she was and she was grateful that I cared and she thanked me.           

             I’m very patient I think because when I work at a day care I would have infants that would cry all the time. I didn’t let that get to me, because I look at kids as that’s the only way they know how to tell us when something wrong. Some infants are sick, and cranky, and some are just like that all the time. You just have to know that there trying to let us no something and we have to do the best we can to comfort them. For example: When I was working with my residences and I had one lady who just kept on putting on the call light for every little thing. But I didn’t let her get to me. I just asked her what she needed, and helped her out.

            Being a quick reactor is always very important. You should be able to react to something when it happens. If you are the type of person who can’t react right away then I don’t think you should be a nurse. If you had a patient come into the hospital that was in critical condition you must react fast, because that patient’s life can depend on how fast you move.

            I’m a very quick reactor. One day I was at my father’s  house with my older brother, I saw that my father wasn’t looking  well , but when I asked him he said he was fine. All of a sudden he fell face first on the floor. My brother started screaming; I turned my dad over and checked if he was breathing. After that I tried waking him, I put a cold towel on his forehead. He started to wake up, and the ambulance came. When he went to the hospital they said he was having the beginning of a heart attack.

            Being a nurse to me is very important. I will make a great nurse because I’m caring, patient, a quick reactor, and loving. I think the main reason I want to be a nurse is because I love helping people and I love feeling appreciated. Also when my grandfather was really sick I was in the hospital for about a week. And I saw the nurses and how wonderful they treated my grandfather just made me want to be just like them. I know that it’s going to a challenge but if I put my mind to it I will be perfectly fine.

Post write

I think my essay is very good. i explaned why i should be a nurse and gave examples.

application essay 1st draft

Question: Write about anything.

Nurse

            Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to become a nurse. It has always been a dream of mine and still is.  Even though being a nurse is a lot of reasonability, I think I would make a great nurse. I love working with people and helping all those in need. I think that I for fill all qualifications of being a nurse. To be a nurse I think you should be caring, patient, loving, and understanding to patient needs. These are some reasons why I think I would be a great nurse.

            There are a lot of ways of being caring. I think being caring is important because when you show that you care it makes people look at you different. There is one incident in which I thought I was being caring. One day I was at work taking care of my residents, and one resident was down and crying. I sat down and talked to her for a half hour, me sitting there and listening to her made her feel a lot better and it made me happy to no , that me just being there and listening made her feel grateful and happy. Another way I’m caring is when my little sister was playing outside and fell off her bike, I ran over to her, and showed her little TLC. That is tender, love, and care.

            Being patient is also important to me. You should be patient because there are always patients in the hospital that are rude and disrespectful, but what some people don’t know is that there is a reason there acting that way, it  could be because there in pain or just lonely, sometimes it because there scared to say whats wrong with them or they think we just don’t care or no one will listen to them,or we won’t understand. It can even be a little kid who asks question or a kid who is always crying. That’s when you should have patient.

             I’m very patient I think because when I work at a day care I would have infants that would cry all the time. I didn’t let that get to me, because I look at kids as that’s the only way they know how to tell us when something wrong. Some infants are sick, and cranky, and some are just like that all the time. You just have to know that there trying to let us no something, and we have to do the best we can to comfort them.  Another incident I had was when I was working with my residences and I had one lady who just kept on putting on the call light for every little thing. But I didn’t let her get to me. I just asked her what she needed, and helped her out.

            Being a quick reactor is always very important. You should be able to react to something when it happens. If you are the type of person who can’t react right away then I don’t think you should be a nurse. If you had a patient come into the hospital that was in critical condition you must react fast, because that patient’s life can depend on how fast you move.

            I’m a very quick reactor. One day I was at my dad’s house with my older brother. I saw that my dad wasn’t looking very well, but when I asked him he said he was fine. All of a sudden he fell face first on the floor. My brother started screaming and freaking out, but me. I turned my dad over and checked if he was breathing. After that I tried waking him, I put a cold towel on his forehead. He started to wake up, and the ambulance came. When he went to the hospital they said he was having a beginning of a heart attack.

        Being a nurse to me is very important. I will make a great nurse because I’m caring, patient, a quick reactor, and loving. I think the main reason I want to be a nurse is because I love helping people and I love feeling appreciated. Also when my grandfather was really sick I was in the hospital for about a week. And I saw the nurses and how wonderful they treated my grandfather just made me want to be just like them. I know that’s it’s going to a challenge but if I put my mind to it I will be perfectly fine.

Post write

I think my essay is very good I gave example of how I was caring, patient and a loving.

this a believe 2nd draft

Family over Friends

            I believe in family over friends. Everyone has friends. They might be people you have known for your whole life or just a couple of months, or even people you look up to. Friends are people who you share a common interest with and people who you share memories with. They are people who you can talk to about problems or can help you when you need something. Friends are usually people who you can count on, right?

            On a cold winter day I was having dinner at my brother’s house. Mt brother and I got into a fight, and I stormed out of his house. I was so aggravated that I was driving like a nut. I wasn’t paying attention to the road and had tears coming down my face. On top of that it was pouring rain out. I could hardly see the road. So I was driving to my friend’s house, and all of a sudden I heard a big POP. I pulled over and got out of my car, went to look and I had a flat tire.  So I called my friend so that he could help me because it was dark out and raining. When I told him what happened he laughed and hung up the phone on my face. This was when I realized that I couldn’t count on friends, but that I could count on my family.

            So, I call my brother that I just got into a fight with. I explained to him what had happened, and he told me that he was on his way. It took him no less than 15 minutes to get there, and he helped me out. We removed the tire and put the spare tire. At first I thought that it was going to be weird between us because we just got into a fight, but it wasn’t. It was like we weren’t even mad at each other. That to me proved that there’s a much stronger relationship with family, and that they are more reliable than friends.

            I learned that day, that there are no such things as friends but acquaintances. But there will always be family. They are the ones who you can count one. There’re the ones who you could get into a fight with and they would still help you out. Families are the ones that you should trust, and the ones that won’t lie to you like your friends do. Families are the ones who show up at the hospital when you’re hurt or if you’re sick. Families are the ones who give you unconditional love. Family to me is important, and I don’t know who or where I would be without them.

I believe in family over friends.

post write

I think my paper is good. i believe that i put all the requirments that were on the checklist.

this i believe and post write 1 draft

Family over Friends

 

            I believe in family over friends. Everyone has friends. They might be people you have known for your whole life or just a couple of months, or even people you look up to. Friends are people who you share a common interest with and people who you share memories with. They are people who you can talk to about problems or can help you when you need something. Friends are usually people who you can count on, right?

            On a cold winter day I was having dinner at my brother’s house. Mt brother and I got into a fight, and I stormed out of his house. I was so aggravated that I was driving like a nut. I wasn’t paying attention to the road and had tears coming down my face. On top of that it was pouring rain out. I could hardly see the road. So I was driving to my friend’s house, and all of a sudden I heard a big POP. I pulled over and got out of my car, went to look and I had a flat tire.  So I called my friend so that he could help me because it was dark out and raining. When I told him what happened he laughed and hung up the phone on my face. This was when I realized that I couldn’t count on friends, but that I could count on my family.

            So what do I do, I call my brother that I just got into a fight with. I explained to him what had happened, and he told me that he was on his way. It took him no less than 15 minutes to get there, and he helped me out. We removed the tire and put the spare tire. At first I thought that it was going to be weird between us because we just got into a fight, but it wasn’t. It was like we weren’t even mad at each other. That to me proved that there’s a much stronger relationship with family and that they are more reliable than friends.

            I learned that day, that there are no such things as friends but acquaintances. But there will always be family. They are the ones who you can count one. There’re the ones who you could get into a fight with and they would still help you out. Families are the ones that you should trust, and the ones that won’t lie to you like your friends do. Families are the ones who show up at the hospital when you’re hurt or if you’re sick. Families are the ones who give you unconditional love. Family to me is important, and I don’t know who or where I would be without them.

I believe in family over friends.

post write
I don't know if I should 've started my opening paragraph talking about friends or if I should start it by talking about family.